Zvone – Inner Dialogue

The Wrong Measure of Suffering Many years ago, I knew a woman who had a simple explanation for almost every human problem. Whenever somebody was hurt, disappointed, anxious, depressed, heartbroken, exhausted, or simply struggling with life, she would shrug her shoulders and say something along the lines of: "Life is hard. Nature is cruel. If you can't handle it, that's your problem." Sometimes she expressed it even more bluntly. I remember sitting there listening to her and wondering whether she actually believed what she was saying or whether it was simply a habit she had developed over the years. At the time I didn't argue with her. There was little point. People rarely abandon opinions that have accompanied them for decades. Still, her words stayed with me long after the conversation ended. Not because I agreed with them. Because I wasn't entirely sure why they bothered me so much. Years later I think I understand. The problem wasn't that she believed l...

Why Advice Rarely Helps an Addict Most mornings, while drinking coffee, I spend a few minutes scrolling through social media. Not because I find it particularly useful. Mostly out of habit. Somewhere between photographs of people's lunches, political arguments, sleeping cats, and advertisements for things nobody really needs, there is always an endless supply of advice. The internet is overflowing with advice. If you drink too much, somebody has a solution. If you are anxious, somebody has a solution. If you are depressed, lonely, overworked, unhappy, exhausted, unmotivated, emotionally unavailable, emotionally available, too optimistic, or insufficiently optimistic, somebody has a solution. The advertisements are everywhere. "Do you struggle with alcohol?" "Are you suffering from anxiety?" "Do you feel stuck in life?" "Join our program and transform your future." "Take control of your life today." "Become the best version of y...

The Strange Discomfort of Being the Sober One A few days ago, I was unexpectedly invited to a family celebration. Well, perhaps not completely unexpectedly. I could have guessed it was coming, but part of me had still been quietly avoiding the whole thing. Large family gatherings become slightly complicated once a person stops drinking. Especially if the family still drinks normally. Or what society calls “normally.” I have now been sober for a year and a half. My relatives know I am an alcoholic. At least technically. But I am not entirely sure they truly understand what that means. To them it often seems less like an illness and more like some unfortunate habit I should eventually learn to control. Something between bad discipline and bad luck. They are my closest relatives, and I know they care about me. But at the same time I sometimes notice a certain discomfort around the subject. As if my sobriety quietly disturbs the atmosphere. As if I became slightly f...

Anxiety, Alcohol, Pills, and the Illusion of Easy Solutions Fear of Pills I do not believe that tranquilizers and anti-anxiety medication can truly solve anxiety in the long run. Maybe they can help for a while. Maybe they can calm a person down during the worst moments, when panic, insomnia, or inner chaos become unbearable. But deep inside, I have always felt that chemistry alone cannot fix something that slowly grows out of life itself, out of fear, habits, stress, unresolved thoughts, and the way a person learns to survive. Perhaps I think this way because I already had my own experience with addiction long before anxiety became a problem. I was barely eighteen when alcohol started becoming more than just occasional drinking. Looking back now, I can honestly say I was already seriously drinking myself into the ground in those years. By twenty-two, I stopped drinking completely. At least for a while - for 30 years. At that age, I sometimes wondered whether some other substance...