Zvone – Inner Dialogue

Why Advice Rarely Helps an Addict Most mornings, while drinking coffee, I spend a few minutes scrolling through social media. Not because I find it particularly useful. Mostly out of habit. Somewhere between photographs of people's lunches, political arguments, sleeping cats, and advertisements for things nobody really needs, there is always an endless supply of advice. The internet is overflowing with advice. If you drink too much, somebody has a solution. If you are anxious, somebody has a solution. If you are depressed, lonely, overworked, unhappy, exhausted, unmotivated, emotionally unavailable, emotionally available, too optimistic, or insufficiently optimistic, somebody has a solution. The advertisements are everywhere. "Do you struggle with alcohol?" "Are you suffering from anxiety?" "Do you feel stuck in life?" "Join our program and transform your future." "Take control of your life today." "Become the best version of y...

The Strange Discomfort of Being the Sober One A few days ago, I was unexpectedly invited to a family celebration. Well, perhaps not completely unexpectedly. I could have guessed it was coming, but part of me had still been quietly avoiding the whole thing. Large family gatherings become slightly complicated once a person stops drinking. Especially if the family still drinks normally. Or what society calls “normally.” I have now been sober for a year and a half. My relatives know I am an alcoholic. At least technically. But I am not entirely sure they truly understand what that means. To them it often seems less like an illness and more like some unfortunate habit I should eventually learn to control. Something between bad discipline and bad luck. They are my closest relatives, and I know they care about me. But at the same time I sometimes notice a certain discomfort around the subject. As if my sobriety quietly disturbs the atmosphere. As if I became slightly f...

Anxiety, Alcohol, Pills, and the Illusion of Easy Solutions Fear of Pills I do not believe that tranquilizers and anti-anxiety medication can truly solve anxiety in the long run. Maybe they can help for a while. Maybe they can calm a person down during the worst moments, when panic, insomnia, or inner chaos become unbearable. But deep inside, I have always felt that chemistry alone cannot fix something that slowly grows out of life itself, out of fear, habits, stress, unresolved thoughts, and the way a person learns to survive. Perhaps I think this way because I already had my own experience with addiction long before anxiety became a problem. I was barely eighteen when alcohol started becoming more than just occasional drinking. Looking back now, I can honestly say I was already seriously drinking myself into the ground in those years. By twenty-two, I stopped drinking completely. At least for a while - for 30 years. At that age, I sometimes wondered whether some other substance...

When Motivation Quietly Disappears Why Rest Sometimes Stops Feeling Like Rest I woke up early in the morning and made coffee. Outside, everything was wet and grey. It had rained during the night and the cold air still carried that heavy smell of soaked ground and unfinished weather. I drank the first coffee in front of the computer. Then another. After a few minutes on the balcony I returned inside and sat down again in front of the screen, already carrying that strange feeling that the day had somehow gone wrong before it had even properly started. I scrolled through Facebook without interest. A few ideas came to mind — things I could write about, projects I could continue, photographs I could sort — but every idea immediately collapsed under its own weight. Everything suddenly felt unnecessary. I looked around the apartment. There were things I should clean and organize. Outside, work was waiting too. I needed to plant lettuce in the garden. The bicycle needed new brake pad...

Why I Chose the Provocative Name “Sobriety4Ever” A Name That Sounds Too Confident “Really? Sobriety4Ever?” someone once asked me, with that tone that already contains half the answer. “A bit too confident, don’t you think?” “All the other email addresses were taken,” I replied. And that was true. Sometimes decisions that later seem symbolic begin in surprisingly trivial ways. It Is Not a Promise of Eternity Yes, I am a recovering addict. And no, I do not believe I will remain “clean forever” in the sense of some triumphant slogan. That kind of certainty is an illusion. It even stands in tension with the well-known principle ODAAT — One Day At A Time. Live today. Just today.  Because of that nickname, I have received a few dismissive comments.  “What arrogance,” some have said. “Who are you to promise yourself eternal sobriety?”  I sometimes wonder whether they truly try to understand what I mean. It is not a promise of eternity. It is not inflated confidence. I...